Premise
Earlier today I came upon this strange conclusion. An insight so weird that I tried to rationalize my way out of it. A common phenomenon when something hits me. One of the hardest reflexes I am having to deal with. But as such I sense the dynamic and am able to react on the dynamic rather than the situation. So I stop rationalizing and start accepting.
In order to grow as a person, to achieve your goals in life without sacrifice you must become whole. You must embrace every aspect of "you".
This means your strengths AND your weaknesses. Your successes and your failures. Let's dive in a little deeper.
Strengths & weaknesses
Strengths
What are your strengths? Your strengths are every aspect of you that you feel comfortable with. They are usually your primary tools in life with which you feel you can accomplish everything. It's what makes you confident, makes you feel ahead in life.
Usually these are the first things that pop up in job interviews, social contact or general profiling. Your strengths are part of a natural dynamic. More on dynamics below. But let's just say the breaking point of your strength is euphoria. Where you build up positive stress to the point you reach a cap. You're at your euphoric high point and from there...
Weaknesses
Your weaknesses tend to be those aspects of you you feel most uncomfortable with. Those characteristics that hold you back. You feel uncomfortable when they appear in your life and you have a hard time accepting them when they do.
You start masking these weaknesses through various mechanisms. Those mechanisms work as they do in physics. They have a dynamic. These dynamics have triggers, stress points, even breaking points.
One such trigger for example is euphoria (see above). The emptiness after a euphoria can often lead to base insecurities popping up. Questions like "What's next? Will I ever have that feeling again?". Doubts.
We accept these dynamics and mechanisms as they feel common and even comfortable, however painful they might turn out. They still feel comfortable. We have trained ourselves to accept them (see The Growth Mindset) from a fixed mindset point of view.
This means your strengths AND your weaknesses. Your successes and your failures. Let's dive in a little deeper.
Strengths & weaknesses
Strengths
What are your strengths? Your strengths are every aspect of you that you feel comfortable with. They are usually your primary tools in life with which you feel you can accomplish everything. It's what makes you confident, makes you feel ahead in life.
Usually these are the first things that pop up in job interviews, social contact or general profiling. Your strengths are part of a natural dynamic. More on dynamics below. But let's just say the breaking point of your strength is euphoria. Where you build up positive stress to the point you reach a cap. You're at your euphoric high point and from there...
Weaknesses
Your weaknesses tend to be those aspects of you you feel most uncomfortable with. Those characteristics that hold you back. You feel uncomfortable when they appear in your life and you have a hard time accepting them when they do.
You start masking these weaknesses through various mechanisms. Those mechanisms work as they do in physics. They have a dynamic. These dynamics have triggers, stress points, even breaking points.
One such trigger for example is euphoria (see above). The emptiness after a euphoria can often lead to base insecurities popping up. Questions like "What's next? Will I ever have that feeling again?". Doubts.
We accept these dynamics and mechanisms as they feel common and even comfortable, however painful they might turn out. They still feel comfortable. We have trained ourselves to accept them (see The Growth Mindset) from a fixed mindset point of view.
Everything is Equally Important
Now here's where I want you to rethink that whole dynamic and consider this. Most of your strengths have developed by the grace of your weaknesses. Let's take me for example.
One of my strengths is my outgoing nature, a blabbermouth and center of attention type guy at times even. All this came from one of my greatest weaknesses: shyness. I used to be terribly shy as a kid, teenager and the first part of my twenties even. But I kept improving on other skills to mask and compensate.
Therefor my shyness is just as important as my extroversion. It was a key factor in my personal development. My shyness is equally important.
When you come to think of it, this feels so logical. As if those missing puzzle pieces just fell into place. This is how I felt when I realized that what I considered weaknesses, character flaws even, were in fact the exact same drivers for developing myself as a person.
After that realization the acceptance of every other aspect of my character became easy. I have learnt from them. Both in the way they held me back and how that made me feel, as in when I did when I started accepting them. No longer seeing them as flaws.
They are part of me. They make me who I am. They make us who we are.
One of my strengths is my outgoing nature, a blabbermouth and center of attention type guy at times even. All this came from one of my greatest weaknesses: shyness. I used to be terribly shy as a kid, teenager and the first part of my twenties even. But I kept improving on other skills to mask and compensate.
Therefor my shyness is just as important as my extroversion. It was a key factor in my personal development. My shyness is equally important.
When you come to think of it, this feels so logical. As if those missing puzzle pieces just fell into place. This is how I felt when I realized that what I considered weaknesses, character flaws even, were in fact the exact same drivers for developing myself as a person.
After that realization the acceptance of every other aspect of my character became easy. I have learnt from them. Both in the way they held me back and how that made me feel, as in when I did when I started accepting them. No longer seeing them as flaws.
They are part of me. They make me who I am. They make us who we are.
Consider this next time you are about to put yourself down.
Next of course is expanding the notion.
If everything is equally important in our personal growth, then what about the goals we set in life? The tools we need to achieve them? The obstacles we encounter on our way there?
This is where I tell you the obvious:
Everything is equally important
As I told my oldest son, who's struggling in school, but has set such a clear goal for himself. Every course is equally important. Every challenge you encounter has something to offer. The learning experience of failure or success. New competences that might come in handy, even if they don't seem to at the moment. The notion of resilience, of willpower. The assurance of achievement.
Thank you and see you on the flipside!
B.P.
P.S.: don't forget to check back. Subscribe by e-mail and go through the other articles. Much love!
Expanding the notion
Next of course is expanding the notion.
If everything is equally important in our personal growth, then what about the goals we set in life? The tools we need to achieve them? The obstacles we encounter on our way there?
This is where I tell you the obvious:
Everything is equally important
As I told my oldest son, who's struggling in school, but has set such a clear goal for himself. Every course is equally important. Every challenge you encounter has something to offer. The learning experience of failure or success. New competences that might come in handy, even if they don't seem to at the moment. The notion of resilience, of willpower. The assurance of achievement.
Knowing you will get there as a whole person.
Thank you and see you on the flipside!
B.P.
P.S.: don't forget to check back. Subscribe by e-mail and go through the other articles. Much love!
